SPEAKER_01 6:48

Well, welcome to the Pro Life Team podcast. I'm Jacob and I'm here with Claire. So so Claire, uh, I'm excited to hear your story. Tell us, yeah, tell us your story of surviving surviving an abortion. Like what's where does that where where did you learn? Uh when did you learn about this? And tell us, yeah, what are your thoughts and what yeah, how this all started.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Yeah, well, thank you, first of all, for having me on. I am um honored to get to be um part of this podcast and to get to share my story. Um I uh can say that my story finding out that I survived an abortion is not something that I ever imagined I would find out. Um I uh grew up as an adopted child, had a wonderful childhood, um, was raised by a wonderful um Christian couple, and my sister and I are both adopted. So adoption was something that was normal for us. It was positively spoken about in our home. Um it never was like a surprise for us, just something we always knew. And so we knew we had birth mothers, we knew that they could become a part of our story one day. We didn't know what that would look like. Um but if that ever became something that we decided to do, that everything would be fine because we have this wonderful home, we have this wonderful family, and God had written our story perfectly. Um, that was a theme that kind of um was in our family and in our conversation about our stories and who we were. And so my sister actually met her birth mother first and it was awesome. She had a great reunion with her birth mother, and I thought in that meeting with her birth mother, I thought, I would love to meet my birth mother. I think that it will go just as great. I'm so excited to see who I look like and who I act like, and um really get to thank her for choosing life for me, for giving me my family. And so I did. I met my birth mother and it was wonderful. Um I looked like her, I acted like her. I was actually studying to be a nurse when I met her. Um, this was just before uh, well, this was right when I turned 21 when I met my birth mother. And we had all these things in common. It was wonderful. And um, I was able to bring my family in, she was able to bring her family. I was able to meet my uh biological half siblings that she had raised and um have three sisters through her and once again we all looked alike, and it was just incredible to get to meet her. But our second meeting after we decided to continue our relationship, that is the meeting that changed my life. You see, I knew my whole life that I was adopted, but I had no idea that I had survived an abortion. So I went to Oklahoma where she lives, and I opened up this conversation through giving her some gifts and giving her a card with uh thank you for choosing life for me written on the card. I opened up this conversation about how grateful I was to her, how I recognized what a selfless choice she had made for me, um, that I knew that I had my family because of what she had chosen for me and done for me. And um I thought it was gonna be just this like overwhelming, positive, exciting, redemptive moment, like something she had been waiting to hear for 21 years. And I was met with the most painful tears I have ever seen in anyone's eyes. And she said, Claire, I need to tell you about being pregnant with you at 13 years old. And she just broke down. I have never never have I seen anything like what I saw that day. Um, still to this day, I can't really describe what I saw, but it was horrific. It was heart-wrenching, and um, she just shared about being pregnant, and she said, I didn't choose life for you. I'm so sorry. Your life is a miracle. I actually had an abortion while I was pregnant with you. She said, My mother uh told me that that was the best choice for me, that that would solve our problem. She was in eighth grade at this point in her life, and so very young, not ready to be a mother. And so her mother uh made the choice that she thought was best for her, and she took her to have an abortion. Now, this was a um late-term abortion, this was a DE abortion, so excruciatingly painful for her. She was alone in the room um with a doctor and nurse who never spoke to her, never asked her what her choice would have been. She said they just did it and they just sent her home. And she said she was supposed to go home and act like everything was normal, but like this didn't even happen. Like she could just go back to eighth grade and go back to being involved in sports and go back around her friends and go back and live in her home uh with her mother and her her little brother and just be okay. But she said she wasn't. She actually went back to the doctor a few weeks later and she realized that it seemed like she was still pregnant, and they told her that she was, that she had actually been pregnant with twins, and the abortion that successfully aborted my twin next to me accidentally didn't abort me. And they said that they had ripped the amniotic sac that I was in, that um her mother, of course, asked for another abortion. She said, My daughter's still in eighth grade, she's still 13. Um, we we need a second abortion. How did this happen? I mean, she was very upset. And they said, We're sorry, we there's uh this wasn't our fault. We didn't know that there were two babies, and we can't do this type of abortion because this is now an even later uh type of abortion. We can't do this type of abortion here in Oklahoma, but you can go to Kansas and they'll do it for you. So my grandmother was actually driven to Kansas um with the attempt to with the intention to have another abortion. Uh, but because she was leaking that amniotic fluid, because they had ripped the sack that I was in, it was actually too dangerous for her for them to perform a second abortion. Otherwise, they would have done it. Um it had nothing to do with what was best for me. It was just what was best for her. And so uh she was taken back to Oklahoma, dropped off at the adoption agency. She lived there for a few weeks, and then I was born. And so as you can imagine, the most shocking moment of my entire life was finding out that I um one survived something that was meant to end my life, and two, that I was a twinless twin, something that I just hadn't known and couldn't fathom, and still to this day, I mean, just trying to wrap my head around like wow, this is my real story.

SPEAKER_01 14:16

Wow. That's so intense. Like that's just yeah, I would agree. Wrapping your head around that is it just seems like there's that's really hard to wrap your head around. Um Wow. So tell us more about what so with your birth mother, where did it go next with that conversation, you know, learning this and you know, she's crying painful tears. What happened next?

SPEAKER_00 14:43

She was, you know, I was I was able to empathize with her greatly in that room. I I don't even think that I could understand or even think about what it meant for me in that moment or what it meant that I was a twin and that I had survived an abortion. I mean, all I could deal with was literally what was right in front of me. And that was her. And that was her pain and her tears. And I was able to, you know, hug her and hold her and she cried. And I was able to say, you know, I forgive you. That is something that was modeled to me in my home all my life by my parents. And those are the parents she chose for me. And I think that's so incredible because uh the forgiveness that was modeled for me in my home and the forgiveness that I was able to extend to my birth mother, um, it has been life-saving, life-changing for our relationship. But she said, Claire, I want you to know you're gonna meet my mother tomorrow. And so I so I went to bed that night and I was like, what what in the world? You know, what in the world is even going on? I mean, how do I even begin to process this for her and for me and for my my family that I'm gonna go home and have to tell all these things to? And what is what is like my whole world was just flipped upside down and I knew I was gonna meet her mother the next day and other people who are a part of her life and who had been a part of her life at that time when she was pregnant with me. And so I went back in this room in her home that night, and I called my parents and I said, This is what I just found out. I just found out that my birth mother, her name's Tanya, by the way. Um, I just found out that Tanya had an abortion while she was pregnant with me, and that I actually survived it. And I was just like, I don't even know how I feel, I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, I don't I don't know what to think. I mean, I just it was just like a whole lot of I don't I don't even know. Um but a whole lot of sadness and a whole lot of empathy for her. And my parents basically said, Claire, God's fingerprints are all over your life, he must have a really big plan for you. And they reminded me that I get to choose to trust him because he's always been trustworthy, he's always been with us, and he's always written our story in a way um that we can never fathom, but his ways are always good, and so they just rem gently reminded me of that, and I think that that moment, like as they reminded me of who I am, and that I can trust God, and that my story, yes, it's turning out to look differently than I expected, but that's okay. And that God has a really big plan for my life. Um, even in this shocking moment where I learned that I was aborted, I was unwanted, I was rejected, all of these things. Um I think that that like set my feet back on solid ground because I could go into the next day and I could choose to forgive her mother, and I could choose to forgive other people who were apathetic or involved in that time of her life. And um I could choose to continue a relationship with her and hope and pray that she could understand and receive the same redemption and forgiveness and healing in her life uh that I knew was possible because God had done it for me and for my my family as well. And so um went into that next meeting and it was as awkward as you can imagine it was. Um her mom definitely I don't know that she really has remorse. Um but that's okay. I I was able to say, you know, I forgive you. And I do. Um and then I went home after that. I went back to Texas and uh started telling people my story, and of course, you can imagine nobody could relate. Nobody had been through anything like that. Nobody had found out they survived an abortion, and so it was it was awkward. Um but a lot of good things came from people not knowing what to say because I ended up approaching um people that were in the pro-life movement, people who were praying outside of an abortion clinic that I had just met a couple months before. I met my birth mother, I went back to them and they were able to just wrap their arms around me and say, Claire, we we care what abortion has done to you. In fact, we see how your humanity and your existence can humanize the unborn baby for people. Would you be willing to share it? And they kind of gave me an in, a door to be able to share what God's done in my life. And so I have been doing that um since 2009, since uh about five months after I found out that I survived my birth mother's abortion.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Wow. Wow, this is so intense. So when you when you heard the news from your birth mother, what negative emotions were you experiencing? Like what were some of the emotions that you were feeling at that time?

SPEAKER_00 20:48

I mean, I think I felt just distraught. I don't even know I don't know that I had a whole bunch of emotions. Um, and I don't know that I could see the big picture of like all the things I was feeling. I just felt distraught because the pain that she experienced was so heavy. I mean, I don't think I began to carry the pain that it meant for me until I actually got home. Until I actually got home and was able to start sharing with people and unpacking it with my family. And of course I began to go to counselor some and um had friends to share with. That's when I really began to feel it for me. But in that moment uh with my birth mother, all I could feel was just anguish and and a deep sadness for her. Um, because that's what she was feeling. She, as you know, um probably women who have abortions so often they they don't share about it, they don't begin to heal from it, um, they don't speak of it for oftentimes 15, 20 years plus. And that was the case for her. And so when she told me about her abortion, I know for a fact that it just opened that door back up wide open. And instead of telling somebody like a post-abortive group or somebody at church or somebody a friend, like most women do who have abortions when they open up um that part of their life 15, 20, 25 years later, she was actually telling her aborted baby. And so you can imagine the anguish that she felt in that moment as she was feeling all those things, but she was actually telling me. And the most incredible thing is that I asked her. Uh five months after I met her, can I share this story? And this is her deepest, darkest, most painful secret. And can I share it with people? And hopes of helping people, hopes of humanizing the unborn baby, hopes of saving people from experiencing the pain and the agony of abortion like we have. Could I share that? Would you be okay with that? And she actually said yes, like instantly. She said yes. She said, because I don't want another little girl or another woman to experience what we have because of abortion.

SPEAKER_03 23:26

Wow. Wow, it's yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

So when you were going, yeah, when you were telling your friends and your family about what happened, were there did you feel like um you're you started to hear tapes or false beliefs about you know things that weren't really true, but you were thinking them and they you know may have sounded true, but they really weren't?

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Oh yeah, for sure. I I mean there's there are things about my circumstances that are absolutely true about my circumstances, like um I was aborted, I was unwanted, I was rejected. Um those are true about my birth story. But you know what, those are true also about how I began to share my story with people. And people really love it when stories fit their narrative, but if they don't fit their narrative, they don't want to hear it. And so I found that so some people, and even as I began to share my story publicly, people didn't want to hear it. Because if they if they believed that abortion was good and right and that it is not killing a baby, you know, that type of narrative, my existence, my story did not fit that. And so the the easy thing to do would not be to face somebody who has this story, it would be to just shut it off, to not listen.

SPEAKER_03 25:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

Um, to not even acknowledge that. And so, yeah, I I definitely have felt those things over the years, like um, like you said, lot little lies that could creep in, or a narrative that could creep in, or feeling rejected, feeling unwanted. But I think what's so incredible is my birth mother picked the parents that they did for me because um they told me the truth about who I was and they spoke words over me all my lots like you're wanted, you're loved, you're chosen, you're forgiven. And so even when those little lies creep in, I was able to remember how I was raised and the truth that my parents said about me, but also what God said about me. And I have been able to choose to cling to those things and know that that is what is true and not not all the things the world and narratives say.

SPEAKER_01 26:03

Interesting. So there's there's this thing at my church, we call it the hot seat model, and usually we use it when someone experiences like a four out of ten on the difficulty level. This I think what you're experiencing here is probably closer to a nine out of ten or you know, right up there. So it might be a little bit too much, but I want to ask a couple more questions. Essentially, it's a way of sort of working through really hard stories, and it's one of the few tools I have in my tool belt. Okay. So so yeah, so when it comes to the false beliefs about yourself, like I was unwanted, I was aborted. Those were yeah, well, they may seem true or feel true, you know. They're yeah, they're they're a false belief, maybe something you believe, but it's it's not really true. Um so what did you what did you believe about your your birth mother, and what did you believe about your birth grandmother or others? It may be a false belief. Like what was seeming true at that time, but it may be a false heard or you felt. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

Yeah. I mean, I would say that I definitely believed um about my birth grandmother that she did not want me. Um, that she wanted to get rid of me, um, that she didn't see any value in my life. Um, I I would not say that about my birth mother. I I think that she was 13 years old and stuck in a horrible situation. And so, um, but yes, I definitely um would say that I believe those things or in that moment for sure, that's what I heard. If I heard any negativity, any lies that were coming into my heart, um, it was from her mother and how her mother saw me.

SPEAKER_01 28:01

What did you what false belief might you have heard about or thought about God? Like, did you feel like God didn't wasn't present, wasn't there to help you when you were most vulnerable? Like what what might have, you know, what false belief might you have held about God when you were experiencing all of this and going through the this the shame and the hard this hard experience?

SPEAKER_00 28:25

Yeah, I think I I think I have a lot of questions for God um when I get to heaven. I think one of the biggest things was where was he um actually possibly more for my birth mother um than myself. I I feel like I have I have the victory story in this, in that God protected my life, even though I do have um some physical complications. I was born premature and I had a dislocated hip and clubbed feet and was in body cast and have chronic pain because of all that. Um, that's pretty minor compared to the weight that my birth mother carries around. But I would say um wondering why me and why not my twin is also you know question that I have for God, something that I've struggled with. Um so yeah, I think Yeah does that answer your question?

SPEAKER_01 29:35

That I I think it does. I I I think what I'm I would imagine is yeah, God, why didn't you take care better care of my birth mother and why did you why did you know why why didn't she step in when her mother was making this terrible situation terrible?

SPEAKER_00 29:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Or just making this making the situation terrible for her.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:58

Yeah. Um so what is so if you had to say what you what your longing is with this scenario, what might be your longing? Um like what would you like what's your desire to happen with your birth mother and your story? What would be your desire, your greatest desire?

SPEAKER_00 30:24

Right now or back then? Right now, right now So I think I think offering hope uh to women who have had abortions, um, women who are experiencing unplanned pregnancies, I think um giving them a a story that uh helps them know that they're not alone, but also that they can choose life for their baby, um, that they are strong and capable of motherhood. All the things that my birth mother would have loved to hear um could have probably been very impactful for her and even for her mother in her moment of crisis and need would have just been what to be surrounded by the pro-life movement, to be given um options and community and resources and told things like, you're strong and capable of motherhood, you're worthy of walking alongside of, um, we are here for you. I think um using my story as an example of what happens when that is not uh present in the life of a woman and a child and a family, even her a girl's parents, and um using my story to uh encourage people to extend that to others. And so um I think my goal would be to just continue to partner with organizations like pregnancy centers and adoption agencies and pro-life ministries at churches to create a culture that truly values all life, um, not just the baby like me, but the woman like my birth mother and the man and the um family and future generations to come?

SPEAKER_01 32:15

That's beautiful. That is a beautiful longing, and so offering hope, yeah, offering hope to women that are struggling and that they're not alone and helping them choose hope and see hope. And so um the next question I have for you is what story in the Bible would you say um can help, you know, would connect with that desire to offer hope? Like what story in the Bible seems to inspire you or to be something you could emulate or something that encourages you as you have this longing of offering hope?

SPEAKER_00 32:54

Yeah, I love that. I think I don't know why this comes to mind, but I think that um when Jesus was on the cross and he was experiencing anguish and he was carrying the weight of the world, and he was doing something unfathomable, um, and his mother was right in front of him. What has always stuck out to me and who I want to be like is the woman who stood next to his mother. And oh um, I don't know if I know that story.

SPEAKER_01 33:37

Tell me more. I don't know if I should remember that.

SPEAKER_00 33:40

So so um I think it's Mary Magdalene was next to um to Mary, and she was just there for her and comforting her and walking alongside of her. And um, I remember watching Passion of the Christ and just being like, oh my gosh, you know, crying at that. Just just I mean, of course, I I empathized with his mother and and what Jesus was going through, but just to see somebody, a steady person who is able to just be there in a moment of crisis, in a moment of need, and just I mean, she didn't even have to say anything, just just walk step by step, like I'm here for you. There is hope. I think it was just a picture of somebody being present in a situation where there is agony, turmoil, uncertainty, um, pain, and she didn't even have to say anything. She just stood with Jesus' mother and she was just there. And she was, you know, basically, in my head, how I'm interpreting it is she's like, okay, just step by step, I'm gonna be here. And there you don't know it yet, or you can't feel it yet, but you will get through this, you will overcome this, and um there is hope ahead of you. And so that's that's what I would love for people to feel from me and to take away um from my story, but also from what I've chosen to do with my story, is that picture of I'm here in the chaos, I'm here in the hurting. Um, but hang on because hope is coming.

SPEAKER_01 35:48

Oh, that's really good. Yeah. And what yeah, so yeah, Jesus' mother is feeling such great anguish, and Jesus is looking at her, just wanting her to be okay because he knows that yeah, uh she's struggling while he's struggling. And and just that picture of Mary Magdalene just being a good friend, being someone there to lean on, to cry with, to support Mary, Jesus' mom. That's just that's a beautiful picture of someone in the gospel just being such an integral part of uh of hope. It really is a good picture of hope. Um, so the next part of this exercise is to ask what is your identity um based on this story and based on your longing to bring hope. What is your identity in Christ? How would you describe your identity?

SPEAKER_00 36:52

Um, I my identity in Christ is based on what um the Bible says about who God says I am. So I am a um daughter of God. I have um placed my hope and my trust in him, and um I believe that he is writing my story perfectly. Um there's some bumps in the road, but he's turned them all together for good. And so um my identity is rooted in um the the things that he says about me, like I am loved and chosen and wanted. And um so many of those things were spoken over me in my home growing up, but I've also uh have rooted my foundation in in those things as an adult as well. And so um in this story and in my vision, I think that my identity is found in just being an obedient vessel of the message that God has given me in the story that He has written for my life. And so um as God continues to ask me to share it, and I I don't even think I told you this earlier, but I am my tendency, my kind of personality is 100% an introvert. And so I never imagined that I would be talking about something pretty controversial, pretty uncomfortable, uh sharing a part of my story that is confusing and painful and hurtful, but also hopeful. You know, I I didn't imagine this from my life, but I've seen what God can do uh when I'm obedient and when I'm just willing to follow uh what he's asking of me. And so my hope is to just continue to um be that vessel and be obedient to what he can tell he caused me to do in the future as well.

SPEAKER_01 38:59

Oh, that's that's beautiful. Um yeah, but uh being a uh a child of God, a daughter of God, and being loved and offering hope to others. I I would like to encourage you to take, you know, consider the identity of uh of priest, um, someone who points to Jesus, someone who mends wounds, and and especially you know, wounds affecting the heart, and um, and just someone that is working to offer Jesus to others. I think that paired well pairs well with the identity as a daughter of God. Um and uh I think that's a an identity that would match this.

SPEAKER_03 39:46

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 39:48

And then the last part of this um exercise that we do at my church is the kingdom action. So based on your longing of offering hope to others, based on the pain of this event, uh, you know, from a long well, I guess was it 10 years ago? Is that right, 2009, so 17 years ago?

SPEAKER_00 40:08

17 years ago, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:10

So yeah, so based on this event, um, based on your longing, based on the story of Mary next to Mary, based on your identity as a daughter and priest, what kingdom action do you think God's calling you to do?

SPEAKER_03 40:32

Then maybe you maybe you're doing it, actually.

SPEAKER_00 40:35

You know, that's funny that you said that because I was thinking, well, I'm I'm attempting to do that now. Um, but I know that there's always more. And so I of course have other ideas that I have been asking God to to show me if that is my kingdom action. Um, but over the past couple years, um, I actually have started a pro-lac ministry at my church. And so this is a way for me to invest in my community, um, in my kids and their friends. We have all teenagers, and so um they're learning to navigate their own journeys, but also find their voice and um be bold in their convictions, and so uh just serving, you know, I have I have spent 17 years speaking and sharing my story and doing podcasts and doing interviews and just offering and extending my story to anybody that will listen, basically. And there has been so much fruit from that. But up until a couple years ago, I had not really been given the opportunity to truly serve and to truly practice what I preached um in my own community. And so I am actually uh teaching for the second year or second semester um in Embrace Grace Group at our church. And so basically we walk alongside single pregnant moms for 12 weeks and we throw them a baby shower as a church at the end of the 12 weeks. And um, our first one was kind of our trial, and uh both of the moms ended up joining our church, and so they're now part of our church community, which is the goal of Embrace Grace, is to um surround them with community, um, give them tangible support through the baby shower, but then invite them into your family. And so uh we're hoping that this current, this group that's in our current semester will also um feel so loved and so walked alongside of that they will also um join our church and and continue to be a part of our lives. So um, and then there's a lot of other aspects of the pro-life ministry, but the other aspect uh for me that has been very important is um empowering our teenagers and their friends to uh be able to articulate um their convictions and be the type of person who uh other students in the halls of the high school know that they can go to. And so it's been awesome to be able to walk alongside of them as they're figuring out their place in the pro-life movement, but also just in life, just just you know, there's so many things that uh so many opportunities for them to stand up for what they believe in. So working on those, I actually thought earlier about uh starting a podcast. So we'll see. We'll see. But I think those are those are a few of the ways that I think God will continue um to use my story and my experience. Um what'd you call it? Kingdom kingdom action.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

Kingdom action action. Yeah. Um what kind of kingdom action um might you take toward you know when it comes to your birth grandmother? What kingdom act like for example, maybe um, you know, well, I'm I I'm I I wanna I'm not quite sure how I feel like this is a really hard thing. And so I'm I want to be sensitive, but at the same time, sometimes it's good just to say things and to work through them and get in the get. them said out loud can can help work through things. But this is really hard. And I feel like this is way above a four out of ten. So um but you know what if so pray you know praying for your your birth grandmother, I feel like that's a hard thing to do, I would imagine. I think that'd be really a tr I mean it's um I feel like that's really hard. I mean to me I think that'd be really hard.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

It is I mean I can't I have prayed for her but I can't say that it's a regular thing for me. I I I think I when I expressed to her that I forgave her and I did not feel remorse really. I I I have never really felt a connection to her. I don't feel like she's sorry for what she did not just to me but to her daughter. I I think that's that's been the hang up for me um and the probably the hardest thing to choose to forgive was what she did to my birth mother because I'm here I'm fine yes I'm impacted by abortion for sure absolutely it has impacted me and it has hurt me but in some ways I think it has impacted her and hurt her more because she remembers what happened to us and I don't and so I think choosing to forgive her was something I've done. I I my pastor describes forgiveness as like a transaction you're never gonna really feel like forgiving somebody but it's a choice you have you you get to make and I think that was when he said that I was like yeah absolutely like I I forgive her to me it is a transaction and it is something that I stand by every single day. And I don't feel remorse I don't feel hatred nothing I I choose to forgive. But like you said do I choose to pray for her um I have before but no I that's not something that I really think about. And so thank you for asking that question because I do I do need to pray for her because I do want her to experience the forgiveness that I have you have my birth mother has that's available through Christ and what he did for us. I do want her to experience that but I know she's not going to until she gets to a place where she knows him and she understands um that she has a need for a savior and that he is the answer to the forgiveness of her sins. And I yeah I need to pray for her for sure.

SPEAKER_01 47:38

Yeah this last Sunday we had a really difficult topic um on Sunday which was we're going through the Lord's prayer I'm sorry not the Lord's prayer we're going through the Sermon on the Mount and we're working through the portion about loving our enemies and and then what does it mean to love our enemies the fast track through the the sermon it was to listen to our enemies to pray for our enemies and then look for a way to serve or do a kingdom action that would um you know essentially with the with with a loving desire for them to see Jesus um and not to condone evil actions but to to see them having good hoping for hoping for you know true good not just what they would what they might perceive as good in their lives. And and that's just a really hard thing to do. Like I I feel like that's nearly impossible and it and it is impossible without Jesus I don't think I mean that's probably why I think it's impossible is because in our own power it really is impossible to love our enemies um but with Jesus it becomes impossible seems normal with Jesus. And so yeah I think praying is a is an amazing step and that's plenty of kingdom action. You don't have to do everything with a kingdom action. You can do what's really you know one good thing with kingdom action work. So so with all of this yeah and then at this point in this exercise in our church we oft you know this we call it the hot seat model where we help someone go through a hard experience but not nearly as hard as what we're going through with you. And then we ought we will we'll do a prayer a a prayer with those in the room would you like to yeah pray for your your birth mom and then I'll I'll pray after you go and uh was that is that okay?

SPEAKER_00 49:35

Sure yeah okay thank you God we uh come to you today and um just so thankful for um this opportunity to get to share my experience and my birth mother Tanya's experience with Jake and uh so thankful for um his willingness to um use his platform and his business to uh share stories that um point to you and point to truth and that I um pray today for um my birth mother Tanya I um thank you so much for giving her to me and to um my family she has been um just a treasure that I could uh never have imagined and uh just so thankful for for her being a part of my life and my family's life. I pray that as she um is going about her week this week that um she just remembers that your hand has been on her and that you have good plans for her and um even if certain things are hurting right now or confusing right now that um you are actively um working things together for her good and um God I pray for her kids and for her grandkids I know that she is um always taking care of so many people and putting other people first um but I just pray that you would uh let her experience your presence this week let her experience your peace um that surpasses all understanding that you would um just give her joy and clarity and comfort um and that she would find a trust in you that she hasn't experienced before um this week thank you again for this opportunity thank you for um doing some healing and heart work in me because Jake asked me some good questions that nobody usually asks I am just grateful for the opportunity to always um think about things in a new way and uh to honor you in the process in Jesus' name God thank you for Claire and Lord thank you for her story um and how it reflects um how it reflects life um overcoming overcoming great great attack um of that attempted to end her life Lord um Lord we we pray for her story to to uh point to you uh we pray for her story to encourage those who are in um dire circumstances to find hope we we pray for uh for those who have experienced the pain of abortion to to uh hear echoes of healing and and restoration and mending and and essentially seeing you as uh the source for for hope and healing Lord we also pray for um claire's uh birth grandmother that you will soften her heart and and more importantly lord we pray for um claire's heart to be mended from such a hard experience and for you to just cover claire's heart with your with your hope and love um yeah regardless of what uh claire's birth grandmother does in the future and we just pray for Claire's heart and Lord we also pray for uh for Tanya uh Claire's mother birth mother that you will continue to um to sow hope into her life and for her to see some of the the testimonies that Claire has given um and for it to really reflect on your amazing uh ability to just to bring life out of uh out of the desert um and and just to for her to see you through when she comes across Claire's stories.

SPEAKER_01 54:37

And Lord we just pray for for Claire to be um to have plenty of rest and to have plenty of support as she is an introvert going out into the extrovert space of sharing and being a speaker and serving you with with uh giving stories of hope um but a longing to serve women that are in hard situations and um we just we thank you for your for making clear who she is and we thank you so much Jesus and pray this all in your name in Jesus' name amen amen thank you so much yeah this has been a great podcast episode I feel like you would be a great counselor I don't know if I have the credentials yeah you know when I wrote my book I the whole time I was like man I am going through like two years of counseling you know just digging deep so you gave me a little reminder of that today and I appreciate it. Thank you so much we have a small group uh at my church we call them pilgrim groups and or PG groups and um we often will do a hot seat almost pretty regularly where we work through a hardship and we have a few more questions than what I asked you but since yours was 10 years old or 16 years 17 years old I skipped some of the questions because they would have been more relevant only if it was a recent event.

SPEAKER_00 56:10

Yeah no I can see how impactful that would be especially if it's something fresh for sure so yeah so good.

SPEAKER_01 56:20

But I bet I bet this one still feels very fresh because it's a it's a it's a real wound. It's a real wound to the heart and and Jesus is wanting to help repair it but it's it's uh yeah some wounds are are going to have um echoes for a long time. Yeah and the and it you know the story continues I you you made me think of when you prayed for my birth mother that uh so her daughter the one she had after me who she raised um her name's Whitney and Whitney had twins so my birth mother got to experience twins even though she aborted her twin and she's like oh my gosh why would God allow me to experience that and it's been she said it's been a little bit freaky and kind of like uncomfortable but then at the same time like so redemptive and I am just overjoyed of that for her because how cool you know to get to experience twins through your daughter after the abortion that she had so thanks for praying for her and for my birth grandmother sure yeah and everyone that hears this we yeah please pray for for uh for Tanya and Tanya's mom um or yeah Claire's mom and Claire's grandma. Um yeah yeah but hopefully people will hear this and we'll when we'll join join that prayer uh and pray for them as they're doing their daily commute and hear this as they're driving down some highway.

SPEAKER_00 58:01

Yes, I hope so and and if anybody's listening and um you just want to just need somebody to reach out to and you're maybe you're having that unplanned pregnancy or maybe you've had that abortion and you just need somebody to talk to I would um be happy for you to reach out to me. My website is realClairecolwell.com and um the when you connect with me on there it goes straight to my email and so I will see it and I will uh be able to be in touch with you.

SPEAKER_01 58:36

So so Claire do you travel across the US to to do an event or what's that look like?

SPEAKER_00 58:44

I do.

SPEAKER_02 58:45

So I am um an independent speaker and so I uh take any requests those can also be made on my website um I speak for pregnancy center fundraisers adoption agency fundraisers um pro life rallies churches youth groups um pretty much anytime I'm invited I uh for the most part as long as it doesn't impact my kids in any way or I'm missing a birthday or something I I pretty much say yes and so I would love any opportunities um from anybody that's listening I also can do virtual stuff interviews like this podcasts I'm happy to share my story whenever I can this is only the beginning even though it's been out of control this is only the beginning even though it feels just like the end seems wrong now somehow beautiful we want to wear with I don't know how do we put a lot of stolen started to be good like it started put a lot of so we started to begin